| LightHouse Newsletter 2008 Volume 2 Issue 1 |
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| Recapping & Restarting |
 Into 2008 we go!
I will begin this new year by welcoming everyone to the next chapter in our lives. We have all had many things happen in the last year that we can reflect on and leave behind as we move forward.
For me, 2007 was, as each year is, a year of many changes. Some changes were easy, some hard – some life changing, some were not too big of a deal. Nonetheless – CHANGE. Some of these changes brought me to a virtual standstill, and forced me to reassess and rearrange my total life, lifestyle, and belief system.
BUT I DID IT, AND I CAME OUT THE OTHER SIDE BETTER OFF AND STRONGER, SMARTER, ETC…BLAH, BLah, blahhhh. We’ve all heard this in many different situations, about different things.
So what does it all really mean?
What it all means is that there were some very painful decisions and changes that absolutely had to be made this year.
I had to take an honest look at some things that I didn’t really want to. I had to make changes based on what was best for me, rather than what was easier. I had to trust that my God (of my understanding) knows more than me about what I need. I had to break my own heart to better my life.
I have broken my own heart before, in many different ways. I broke my own heart when I chose to let my daughter die with dignity. More than once have I broken my heart over a man, or relationship that was not healthy for me. 2007 was no different.
Last year I tore it all down, rearranged the pieces, and this year I will build it back up again. I am not physically alone, but my quest can only be realized by me.
Over the years, my New Years Resolutions have become more realistic, and attainable. This year, I simply resolve to do things that will continue to move my life in an upward motion. I am not just saying that I want serenity and happiness. I will take the steps I need to attain these things – albeit by BABY steps – LOTS of baby steps!
Shining Light Grief Support Website
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| Happy New Year??* |
 That’s right- it’s the new year again, and with it comes much emotion for everyone.
For those who grieve, the New Year brings a whole new set of emotions that don’t always bring hope for the future or warm fuzzy new beginnings. For the grieving, it usually involves a whole lot of “Ohhhhh, another year of pain and missing the one I love that is not here anymore”.
What many people who grieve do not know is that this year cancould be the year that we can feel renewal and new hope for the future.
Our emotions are based on our views and perceptions. Our inner vocabulary rules the way in which we feel from day to day, and whether or not we heal from grief.
This may sound overly simplistic, but it is absolutely true. If we use words such as devastated, destroyed, or tragic, then we surely will see our situation as such. If we tend to see things in general as negative, we will have more difficulty in moving forward out of grief.
If we are able to let go for a moment and try a new approach, we may find it possible to begin healing.
It is as simple as this;
When I wake up in the morning, I do not allow myself to think, “Oh, not another day in hell I am living without my daughter”. I wake up and I think, “Thank you (higher power) for this sunrise, for my beautiful –boys, for this incredible man who loves me, for my loving home, for my ability to love, and to laugh hysterically.” I also keep in mind the fabulous gifts that have come as a result of the tragedies in my past. I am not a pro at it, and it doesn’t work every time. I still have my moments, but they are just that – moments – not days, weeks, months or years.
Being positive and changing our inner vocabulary takes practice, but it is possible.
The question to ask yourself is this- and it must be answered honestly; “Am I truly ready to begin healing, and am I ready to do whatever it takes?”
If you can answer “Yes” to this question, maybe you are ready to take the next step.
*This article was included in last January’s newsletter, but I felt it was worth repeating!
Shining Light Grief Support Website
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| Shining Light in 2008 |
 Interest, at best, was sporadic last year for grief retreats and support groups – when I was looking to schedule them… But with God having such a sense of humor and irony, it wasn’t until I had filled up my schedule with other things that many of you began to contact me, wondering WHEN & WHERE!
So this time, we will begin early, I would be thrilled if we were able to busy ourselves with many healing projects this year to pull us into a brighter 2009!
I will begin by listing here what I will be doing, and I would like to hear from those of you interested. The year is a clean slate, and I am ready to begin scheduling. Here is the plan-
-Monthly day retreats
-Quarterly weekend retreats & BootCamps
-Yearly- the BIGGIE retreat – 4 days/3 nightsI am shopping for a support group home, and will begin scheduling soon. I am looking to have weekly or bi-weekly groups. That will depend on your feedback, so please let me know what you are looking for!
I am also structuring a 12 week grief healing course for those looking to truly heal from grief, and make their lives better in all areas.
We have lots and lots of ways to heal and become the functioning, happy individuals we would like to be, so please contact me and let me know what’s on your mind.
I am looking forward to an exciting, blessed, healing, and happy 2008!!!
Email Jeri!
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| Are you ready for BOOTCAMP??? |
 This year, if you are ready to deal with the reality that comes with not just healing from grief, but changing your entire life, consider attending a Grief BootCamp.
BootCamp is not for the newly bereaved. There must be an appropriate period of mourning after a devastating loss. Some individuals, however, find that the grief period has gone on far too long. For those who can’t seem to break out of this cycle of grief, or depression, BootCamp can help.
I am a firm believer that how we grieve, how long we grieve, and the ability to heal from grief comes directly as a result of our personality and upbringing.
Asking ourselves key questions, and honestly answering can be an indicator of how we need to change ouselves. I may ask myself, “Do I feel like this loss is THE WORST thing that could happen, or do I remind myself that it could have been worse?” This is a “Glass half empty or full” type of question that speaks volumes. Some of us are optimists, some pessimists. We can all learn new behaviors if we wish. First, we must learn more about ourselves.
Grief BootCamp is a shock to the system of sorts. Merging the physical, emotional, and spiritual, we push ourselves to our limits to purge a lifetime of toxic thoughts, foods, emotions, substances, and habits. Some people just need a jumping off point to get off the merry-go-round of mourning. Some people need an opportunity to begin a new life; a life of serenity and joy. A RE-creation of what we were truly meant to be.
All you need for BootCamp is to be HONEST, OPEN & WILLING to change, and to feel BETTER..
Bootcamp Info
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| Twelve Steps Applied to Grief Recovery |
Possibly one of the most difficult things to accomplish in order to overcome the darkest days of grief is to wade through the murky waters of our upbringing, and pivitol life experiences which have molded us into who we are and how we grieve.The following is the first of twelve steps, adapted loosely from the steps of Alcoholics Anonymous that have proven to be quite helpful to many people who were entirely ready to let go of the desolation of mourning, to come into the light again – some, for the first time ever! We will discuss these steps further as we move along into the year.
This is the first step we will be examining to begin the healing:
1. We admitted we were powerless over grief, and that our lives had become unmanageable.Obviously, as with any type of healing or recovery, we have to first acknowledge that there is, in fact, a problem. When we are overcome with grief, life seems to be at a standstill. In actuality, life is at a standstill. We come to a point in life where everything has changed, whether we were ready to change or not. All of our hopes, dreams and plans for the future are no longer the same. We must adapt and adjust, which, in a sense, means we must recreate who we are.
Our natural instinct is to fight for normalcy, and to keep things the same. When we suffer a great loss, this obviously cannot happen. In order to recover, we must come to a point where we are ready to accept that things will never be the same, and it is we who must now adjust to the changes.
Obviously, as with any type of healing or recovery, we have to first acknowledge that there is, in fact, a problem. When we are overcome with grief, life seems to be at a standstill. In actuality, life at a standstill. We come to a point in life where everything has changed, whether we were ready to change or not. All of our hopes, dreams and plans for the future are no longer the same. We must adapt and adjust, which, in a sense, means we must recreate who we are.Our natural instinct is to fight for normalcy, and to keep things the same. When we suffer a great loss, this obviously cannot happen. In order to recover, we must come to a point where we are ready to accept that things will never be the same, and it is we who must now adjust to the changes.
- If I am to heal, I must resist the urge to remain in a place of self-pity. I still have my moments, but they no longer stretch into days, weeks or months -
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| …In loving memory… |
From Jessica Decasanova
…I miss you more each
day mommy!
Veronica Decasanova
12-14-48 – 12-17-04From Devon O’Neal
…Terrill you will always be
the love of my life!
12/23/1974-12/07/2005
Submit a memorial
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| So noted… |
 The quotes and poetry of Maya Angelou are worth mentioning when speaking of grief and healing.
Jeri Lynn Platt is the founder of Shining Light Grief Support. She has long been an advocate for natural birthing, cesarean prevention, unnecessary medical intervention and the medical rights of the pregnant parent.
Grief support was only a part of the support and advocacy she offered until the illness and subsequent death of her fifteen year old daughter, Leora, in April of 2003 brought her to a new level of education and understanding. An ordained minister (non-denominational), she offers education, spiritual & emotional support, hope and respite for the weary and grief-stricken through the use of a series of support tools, in the hope that we can all be UNstuck in our grief.
Jeri is also committed to helping to find a cure for Leiomyosarcoma, by raising awareness and funds through the efforts of herself and those who were touched by the life and death of Leora. The Princess Leora Fund is a memorial fund created at The National Leiomyosarcoma Foundation (NLMSF.org).
Jeri is available for speaking, support groups, workshops, one-on-one support and offers a series of grief retreats at one of the most beautiful spa resorts in sunny South Florida.
She can be reached at 954-827-0295, or email jeri@myshininglight.com.
Please visit www.myshininglight.com
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